Happy Endings are so Cliché
by angelsXfromXhell
Summary: some call it high school. more call it hell. moving to a new town, a new highschool has never been easy for riku and his six brothers  and a certain blond isn't making things easier. Yaoi! Pairings: rikuroku, cloudleon, zemyx


**Title**: Happy Endings are so Cliché

**Summary**: Life is full of choices. Whether it's between your loyalty to your family or your heart; between the public's opinion and your feelings, or having to choose between your best friend and your lover- life's choices have never been easy for Riku and his six brothers…

**Rated T for**: Language and Minor themes- may be bumped up for later chapters

**Pairings**: RikuRoku (Riku/ Roxas), Cleon (Cloud/ Leon), Zemyx (Zexion/Demyx)

_With sides of_: Larxel (Axel/Larxene-cause god knows there's not enough) and Sairi (Sora/ Kairi- sadly we cannot deny it…)

**Disclaimer**: YES. I OWN KINGDOM HEARTS._ gets attacked by pack of lawyers_

Seriously. I wish.

Otherwise things would be different. Sooooooooo different insert maniacal laugh

**Dedicated to**: My two lovely betas, which are my inspiration.

And to the guy who invented email, cause without him/her a girl in Asia (who desperately wants to go back to the US) couldn't write a fic with two girls in the states.

My first fic- so here we go!

* * *

_'How the hell did we wind up like this  
Why weren't we able  
To see the signs that we missed  
And try to turn the tables  
Now the story's played out like this  
Just like a paperback novel  
Lets rewrite an ending that fits  
Instead of a Hollywood horror'_

_-Someday, Nickelback_

"So are you going to tell us?" She asked, leaning back and grabbing the pack of honey roasted peanuts. The blond next to her nodded in curiosity and asked a passing by air hostess if she could have a drink. Tempting as it was to order a glass of vodka when the hostess mistook her for a major, she asked for a coke-

to hell with diet.

"It's a long story." The boy sighed. He looked out the window as he said this. His breath collected on the double paned glass. Outside the clouds were lined with silver, gold, and thousands of colors that were never known to exist. But even a flight through a personified heaven didn't seem to make things easier, "A really long story."

The girl who sat in front of him kneeled on her seat so she was looking over it at him. Folding her hands over the top she rested her head on it. "We still have four godamn hours on this near deserted plane."

"I don't know where to begin."

"The beginning sounds like a good place." The girl with the honey roasted peanuts said. Belatedly, she swore colorfully as the packet she had been tugging at, attempting to open, burst; sending missiles of peanuts in every direction.

"_Well if you really want to know what happened_ and I can only guess you do since you've bothering me for the last two hours with creativity I couldn't have expected from even DaVinci himself, I guess would have to go into how my father was the CEO of Jenova Corps., that he soon got married and had far more than the national average of 2.5 kids. Then I'd have to tell you that soon after Zex's was born that my dad went and slept with his wife's sister.

Why? I seriously have no clue. The world today is just seriously screwed up. And that's all people care about today too- who's with whom, who's getting in whose pants, and who's sleeping with whom. It's all fine and dandy. Unless, of course you're like me and you're the one who gets screwed over (metaphorically) cause of it in the end.

Anyway, the thing is- nine months later I was the product to show of that little accident. My dad, being the bastard he is, fired my mother; blackmailed her into hidden submission, and pretended to go on living without a care of me or my mother in the world.

_Then_, I'd have to tell you how my mother died by sudden heart attack- and don't you dare tell me this shit doesn't happen in everyday life cause it does-and I'd have to tell you that I was put under the custody of my father. My step mom promptly walked out the door the moment I walked in at the tender age of four.

_If you still really want to know how it all happened, which I highly doubt_, then I'd have to tell you about my screwed up motherless childhood, how my dad turned alcoholic and how three years after he nearly killed me and Zexion- as I was dubbed 'the accident' and Zex was the only one who looked like his mother - a bunch of legal hocus pocus happened and I, along with my five older brothers ended up under the care of Sephiroth, the oldest of us all. We were all ready to shout 'Glory hum hallelujah!!!' and get out of that hell hole as fast as possible. All my brothers worked, teachers actually, and each of them pitched in to help.

_And then, if you really want to know_, we ended up moving to Destiny Islands from Radiant Garden.

If you really wanted to know, I'd have to tell you all these things. But things are way too fucked up right now to go into that shit and I don't have time to tell you that. So, I guess I should just begin when we met _them_.

Now, **maybe** if that lady at the counter hadn't freakin' gotten a call from her boyfriend about whether or not she liked Chinese food and how he knew this great place called the Land of the Dragons, maybe she wouldn't have messed up our luggage with a certain someone who was in the same flight.

**Maybe** if that certain someone didn't have hair that only god knew how much hair gel was required in the morning to make it stand up like that, and maybe if he didn't have 'cerulean eyes deeper than sky' (Seph's words not mine) maybe things would turn out differently.

**Maybe **things would turn out differently if homosexuality wasn't genetic or contagious or whatever.

**Maybe** things would have turned out differently if "gay-ness" didn't run rampant in the family –"

"Wait," the girl in front of him inquired halting the narration, "you're gay?"

"Well of course he's gay Melanie, any guy with hair like that has** got** to be flaming"

"Oh. Well. Damn. There go my fantasies."

The boy gave her a weird look and began again, slowly this time as if afraid what other thoughts his words could bring to the minds of the three girls sitting here on Chocobo Airlines listening to the story of his almost fanfiction-esque life.

"All my brother's- including Leon, the adopted one- are either stark raving gay or bi.

**Maybe** things wouldn't be so fucked up right now if they weren't.

**Maybe.** But they were.

However, if you ask another certain someone- goddamn it his name still burns my throat and eyes- he would stop and think and take a sip of his coffee – coffee so strong that it would be eating away at his cup.

Then finally deciding he would look up and say, "Well, if you ask me it's all Leon's fault. He's a fucking selfless bastard. Leon's always felt that the weight of the world is on his shoulders. Being the only adopted one in this family he felt that the least he could do in return for giving him a home and a family that loved him (most of the time) was taking care of it; even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness for the cause." He'd nod, looking in my general direction, eyes glazed and glassy with worry; chewing away at his bottom lip nervously-

actions that would nearly make me swoon with heart ache if I saw now.

But, I digress, after a few years in Destiny Islands; my brothers were transferred to  
Radiant Garden. They were suffering a teacher shortage there, and so the seven of us were forced to move.

So there I sat there.,"

* * *

So there Riku sat there, sandwiched between Yazoo and Kadaj in the back of the silver Odyssey. 

The sun was stealthy that evening. Its rays crept silently through windows, stalked dark corners and, pounced on lethargic attitudes.

Three hours in a car with your six brothers was bitch and a sure fire way to give anyone a migraine the size of china. 180 minutes (and counting…) and your brother singing at the top of his lungs was enough to feel the sudden, spontaneous urge to hurl yourself out the window…something Yazoo was trying to do.

Loz was currently sleeping, his soft snores drowned out by Kadaj's yowls. Sephiroth was driving and talking on his cellphone, and Leon held a map in his hands and was giving directions.

Aka they were doomed and bound to end up in Atlantica if Leon was dealing with directions.

Riku would have been afraid, very afraid that he would have to spend the next week, lost, sleeping in various motels across the different worlds, drinking crappy orange juice and coffee and eating those sugar coated cereals that came in a little box every blooming morning, until they found their way to their new home.

But he was a little preoccupied with Kadaj's attempts to make their ears bleed. Oh the HUMANITY!

Kadaj was currently singing "Crank That" at the 'highest frequency discernible to the human ear' (as Zexion put it before burying his head in a book).

Kadaj was putting special emphasis on the "_YOU!_'s" in the song.

"_Soulja Boy Up In This Hoe  
Watch Me Crank It__**…"**_

Riku rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Kadaj," he nearly pleaded. He closed his eyes. Maybe if he wished hard enough his brother would be struck by a blot of lightning, simply go poof, or get is tongue frozen to a pole and have to wait till the fire engine came and then have to spend a month in the hospital with a kid named Oscar who taught him the polish word for lip.

Any one would work,

"_**Any **_song but THAT song…"

"Riku's got a point Kadaj- that song sounds like a terrible version of a super Mario brother's theme song," Zexion drawled from behind the covers of Macbeth.

Kadaj twisted around in his seat. "I shall have you know, Soulja Boy is _the shit_."

"Yes it really is shit isn't it?" Riku grumbled under his breath.

Kadaj eye's narrowed dangerously, "What was that?"

"NOTHING!" Riku crowed happily, "Me and Zexion-"

"Zexion and I," Leon corrected from the passenger seat.

"Grammar whore," Riku retaliated.

Leon shrugged, "I'm an English teacher-"

But the second oldest brother's words were cut off by a feral cry.

"TAKE THAT BACK! SOULJA BOY KICKS ASS!"

"ARGGGGGGH-" gack "-KADAJ GET OFF ME!"

"Kadaj! Get back in your seat! We're in the middle of the highway!"

"ONCE I'M FINISHED MAIMING MY DEAREST BROTHER"

"I'm sorry Leon; you have no authority in this family."

"I agree with Zexion, no one listens to you Leon,"

"Thanks for the boost on self esteem Yazoo,"

"No problem,"

"Guys….can't…breathe…here…still….in….choke"-gasp-" hold…help…"

"Did you hear something?"

"Nope.'

"TAKE IT BACK!"

Choke. "NEVER!"

"FOR EVERYTHING ON GOD'S GOOD GREEN EARTH CHANGE THE RADIO CHANNEL"

' _I don't want another pretty face  
I don't want just anyone to hold  
I don't want my love to go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul'_

"JESSE MCCARTNEY! IT BURNS"

"THERE IS SOMETHING **WRONG** WITH ANY GUY SINGING ABOUT SOUL'S."

"Fuck. Loz is awake."

"oh. **Hell**."

"Leon…change the FUCKING radio channel my ears are bleeding"

"I'm changing it, I'm changing it- AH! DON'T HURT ME!"

"Relief. Sweet relief."

"Wait a minute…"

"HELL YEAH!"

_"Soulja Boy Up In This Hoe  
Watch Me Crank It  
Watch Me Roll  
Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy  
den Super Man Dat Hoe  
Now Watch Me YOOOOUUUU"_

"ARGH!"- gasp-"the.. world….. hates… me…."

"KADAJ WHAT THE FUCK GIVES YOU THE IDEA THAT YOU CAN JUST WALTZ OUT OF YOUR SEAT- granted it's to strangle Riku, BUT GET YOUR ASS BACK IN YOUR SEAT."

"Sorry Seph. Didn't know you were off the phone."

"Hey, how come they listen to you?"

"Told you Leon, no one listens to you,"

The cacophony came to a single-handed halt with a swift glare from Sephiroth.

Kadaj climbed back into his seat and buckled himself in, humming softly along to the radio.

Loz had fallen back asleep- the guy could sleep through anything! –

and Zexion had claimed sanctuary behind his book once more. And yes. Yazoo was still staring out the window, as if pleading the passing by cars: _'take me with you!_'.

Riku had a pretty messed up family.

(If you had a little trouble figuring that out up till this point)

He didn't deny it. But, T'was the only family he had.

So he guess somewhere deep…deep…deeepppp…down he loved them.

Kinda

Sorta

Maybe.

Riku rubbed his neck where Kadaj had held him in his choke hold. He couldn't remember being so happy to hear Sephiroth's voice. Sephiroth was the only one who could get the other six to calm down and stop them from impaling each other with long pointy things.

Riku thought it had to do with his piercing eyes- it was the fact that his eyes seemed to know everything you'd done in the past 24 hours; he knew you ate the last jelly donut, he knew you were the one who accidentally-on-purpose dyed your brother's clothes pink; he knew you ate only a Snickers bar instead of having a wholesome meal for breakfast. He knew. He was like an internet stalker.

Except offline.

Zex thought it was 'cause he looked like he could knock you and your army out without even blinking.

Either one.

But no one listen to Leon. Maybe because the others had realized that he had too kind a heart and, that though he might be hard on the outside, he was a mess of emotional goo on the inside.

His threats were just empty one.

With Sephiroth however…

But Leon, however, was the only one who made Riku feel safe. Not that he didn't trust his other brothers; it's just that Leon was the one closest to his heart. Leon was the one who helped and comforted him when they used to live with their dad. Maybe because in some corner of his soul Leon knew what Riku felt like- as he was adopted. So from the day Riku moved into his father's house, Leon gained a shadow named Riku.

In fact, Leon was the one to convince Riku that nothing was going to happen, and everything was going to be okay, if they moved back to Radiant Garden.

When Riku had learnt that they was moving back to were, quote, 'satan lived', he locked himself in his room refusing to open the doors, save meals. It was only after Leon swore that they were moving to the other side of town, they had a security system that would include a motion sensitive flamethrower, and, if Riku seriously felt like it, he could hire a body guard; Riku came out of his room.

Point is- if suddenly they had had a car crash with that burnette they were driving next to earlier (when Kadaj was singing- the one who had flipped them off), the first person Riku would save would have been Leon.

"I'm boreeeeddddddddddddddd…………………" Yazoo drawled, yanking Riku out of his comparatively deep thoughts.

Zexion peeked over his book, looking around and noticing that even Kadaj had stopped humming, decided that this was a good time to release the information he had been hiding.

He cleared his throat, "Does anyone else find it interesting that we're moving to the exact same town were Seph's boyfriend lives."

The reaction was one he had been hoping for. Finally. Something interesting was happening again.

Leon choked on the water he was drinking.

Yazoo was staring at him like he had sprouted arms from his ears.

Loz had woken up again…

Maybe it was because of some weird sixth sense that knew when something interesting had happened.

Or maybe it was because Kadaj had let out an extremely loud shriek that made Leon, after he had finished choking; check if they had insurance for the windows.

And, **oh my gawd**, was Seph _blushing_?

Riku couldn't help wondering where Zexion had gotten this information from. Between the siblings he WAS known as the shadow king. Zex always got his hands on information that no one else knew about.

From there he went on to either sell it or blackmail you.

Whichever paid more.

But this was good even for him.

"How did you know that?" Riku said in an near-awed voice, "Hell, how'd you know Seph had a boyfriend?"

Zexion grinned evilly, tapped his nose, and said, "I know… insert maniacal laugh here "

Kadaj was eyeing the fantastic fusia color Sephiroth was turning. "Are you sure he's not imaginary?" He asked suspiciously.

Leon's water bottle flew back and hit Kadaj on the forehead, much to Leon's indignant 'Hey!'s'

Sephiroth looked calmer now, his face returned to its normal, pale color. Glancing at the three in the backseat through the rear view mirror, "Yeah, my boyfriend, he's the one we met on our flight to Destiny Islands-"

"Oh, when that lady at the counter freakin gotten a call from her boy friend about whether or not she liked Chinese food and how he knew this great place called the Land of the Dragons, and she have messed up our luggage with a someone who was in the same flight. That person that only god knew how much hair gel was required in the morning to make it stand up like that?" Yazoo said dully.

How the hell did he remember this stuff??? Then again, thought Riku, Yazoo was a history teacher and had a knack for remembering random ass stuff- something that came useful with all those dates.

"Cerulean eyes deeper than sky," said Sephiroth in a passionate voice…

the same Sephiroth who had threatened to use Kadaj's innards as Christmas decorations if he refused to hand over the last piece of pumpkin pie last Halloween.

There must have been something in that Togo's water.

But try as he might Riku couldn't remember the face of the person who had cause the entire flight fiasco; the person who was suddenly Seph's boyfriend.

"Wow." Zexion commented after calculating, "You've been together for seven years?"

Sephiroth nodded. "Not only Cloud, Riku's friend lives there too. Remember Sora?"

Riku closed his eyes. Sora.

Sora.

**This** name did ring a bell.

_Gravity defying hair, sea colored eyes…and_

"…the kid who got sugar high of those skittles?"

Riku could see Sephiroth's smile in the rear view mirror, "Why Riku, I didn't expect you to remember the lighter incident."

Oh yes. It was a little hard to forget the lighter incident. Just a _little _hard.

Sephiroth continued, "Well, he still lives there, and according to Cloud, he's going to Dawn High, where you'll be going. It would be nice if the two of you could meet up with each other."

Wow. Dude, he almost sounded like a father for a second.

Riku would really have to figure out what was wrong with the water at Togo's.

But he nodded. Speaking of which, "What about you guys? I mean, what schools will you guys be teaching at?"

But the second the knowing smiles crossed the lips of all his older brothers Riku knew.

Oh. Hell.

"Wellllllllll…" drawing out the word and doing nothing to ease the growing sense of doom, Sephiroth said, "Technically, we'll all be teaching at your school, but Leon's the only one who'll be teaching at your school."

Riku blinked,

"You seriously expected me to understand that?"

Leon rolled his eyes and picked up where his older brother had left off, "The school system is kinda under 'a dual monarchy' sort of thing, "

"Kinda like Austria- hungary before the 1900's!"

"Shut _**up**_Yazoo, I'm really not in the mood for history. Anyway, there are two campuses, which are right next to each other- you'll see when we get there. On one campus, which is known Twilight High, nobodies attend. The other, Dawn High is for, well, others. Aka people like you. However, they're both under Hallow Bastion High School. Get it?"

"Kinda, not really,"

"It'll make more sense when we actually go there. Our first day is on Monday," he added answering the question that had just flitted across Riku's face. "I'm the only one teaching at Dawn High and that'll be English, the others are teaching at Twilight."

"Teaching math" Seph said, indicating the subject he would be torturing- I mean teaching- _young,_ _helpless_ children.

Riku snorted. Seph teaching math? _That _would be interesting. It would give the entire "math-teacher-from-hell" thing a new feel.

"Drama," Kadaj chimed in, "and Loz here, " Loz was still sleeping, " will be teaching Blitzball,"

"French and Spanish," Zex muttered.

And of course, Yazoo was going to have a real party in history talking about Stalin and Hitler.

Riku nodded, well; at least he wouldn't have to face ALL of them. That would be hell.

Leon wasn't so bad, though he tended to get a little high of English and could go on for hours talking about the central paradox in the poem 'Caged Bird' and other shit like that.

"WE'RE HERE!" Kadaj said in a sing song voice. And Riku jumped up, and unbuckled his seat before Sephiroth had even parked.

He knew better than to wait around. Dammit, when you had six brothers' you had to be fast, otherwise all the good rooms would get claimed.

Sephiroth parked and everyone piled out of the car (Loz was mysteriously awake again).

Unlocking the front white washed door, Sephiroth just said that the master bedroom was his. And then

He let them loose.

Let's just say it's a good thing that those halls weren't furnished.

If time had slowed down, Riku would have registered that when you enter there was a small welcoming alcove. Exiting this, to the right there was a living room while to the left, the dining hall with a bare door way that led to the kitchen. There was also a pathetic excuse for a hallway straight ahead from the main entrance that ended in a living room and back yard, and had yet another entrance to the kitchen on the left with a longer, more defined hall on the right. This hall contained three bedrooms, one of which was the master, two bathrooms, a door to the garage, a linen closet, and…a set of stairs. The second floor contained three bedrooms, each with a bathroom of their own, and one last set of stairs that led to the loft and a room.

But of course, Riku didn't really evaluate this till much, much later, as he was still 'room hunting'.

---Five minutes later---

Being the youngest sucked. It sucked hard.

Riku had claimed the room on the first floor; the one with the large bay window that took up an entire wall.

It was perfect.

It was a good thing he had remembered to take of his socks, because the others had slipped at least once on the hardwood floors. He had sat down, in the middle of the room, claiming it his, feeling awfully proud about his well earned prize.

But Zex had soon come in, said this room sated his photography needs (a cherished pastime of his) and had promptly kicked Riku out.

Riku fought back only to be reminded that Zexion had footage of his that he would rather not like the community of Youtube to see.

Leon had already gotten the other ground floor room, and the master bedroom was Sephs. The triplets had called dibs on all three second floor rooms,

Which left Riku with the third story room.

Which cut out any chances of sneaking out undetected.

Damn.

Being the youngest sucked. It sucked hard.

* * *

**A/N:**

TADA!

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**Roxas:** poke When do I enter?

**Me**: pats on head soon


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